changing my name

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...Wha?

Wait -- let me explain. It's not a change as such, more of a refinement...

I am Phil Smith -- but then again, so are many others. I need to distinguish myself from all the other Phil Smiths out there (including the one who played saxophone for Haircut 100).

In recent years I've never had a problem registering 'filsmyth' as a username, anywhere...

I really have no use for 'Philip' (and people spell it wrong half the time anyway), let alone my middle name, 'Daniel'. I'm really not 'Philip Daniel Smith' anymore, if I ever was. I'm Phil Smith.

Or, filsmyth. Check it out -- it sounds just the same (click for audio): fil + smyth

Maybe there's a numerologist out there who will tell me I'm making a mistake with this change (haven't done anything 'legal' about it yet), but it feels right.

By the way, please don't capitalize it or separate it into two names -- but you can still call me 'fil' for short.


Stay crunchy.


filsmyth
04Mar09

PS The old me can now be seen in a video (smoking)...

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spoons delayed

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The trip was delayed, indefinitely, so no -- the spoons aren't done.

These carvings can be difficult to let go, and that plus general procrastination partially explains why they take so long. I could go ahead and finish them, but seriously want to start getting decent images before they leave my hands. My friend has a camera that not only takes good macro, but does DVD-quality video...

Again, the moment of first oil is magickal. By shooting video I can share the moment and retain an excellent visual record of the carvings.

Patience...


Phil Smith
January 23, 2009

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Is it 2009 already?

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Having a hard time wrapping my mind around the idea that it's been almost a year since I decided to write a novel.  Okay, so maybe I can't be called a novelist until it's done, and maybe only ONE person out there has an idea of how much work I've put into it -- though I have no permanent text to show...

Should I make a resolution?  FINE.  I will make just the one this year, to finish this thing.  I think that ought to be enough.  It's not like I'm a natural storyteller, or an accomplished liar, used to making shit up -- if I can finish this at all, it will be an accomplishment.

Things keep coming to me, that alter the overall story enough to keep me thinking the time is not yet right to begin the actual writing.

Virtual Dreamer is a work of near-future science fiction.  I just about have to finish and publish it within the next year for it to mean anything -- plus there's the expectation that print will cease to matter, even within the timeline of the novel itself.  If I'm to write it at all, yes, it needs to 'drop' before the end of 2009.

Within the next 2 weeks or so, I have to make sure I have half a dozen spoons ready for oil.  The plan is to use a friend's video camera to capture the moment of first oil on several carvings, on the weekend of my 42nd birthday.  Each of these carvings takes more hours than I can count, from raw hunk of wood to finished piece, some more than others...

At some point I need to pick up my bass again and work on my technique -- and find time to jam...

Nothing like the beginning of a new year to make you examine your work.  I look back at 2008 and realize I've been slacking, even more than a confirmed slacker should.

By the way?  The SLACKER button I have as my profile image was procured for me by a friend who has now passed.  I don't have the actual button, probably never will.

Like many others, I guess, often I find myself in front of a monitor and keyboard, wanting to express myself -- and sometimes there's no one specific to e-mail...  Here's hoping I get 'into the groove' enough with the novel, over the next few months, that my blog posts will become sparse...

Phil Smith

January 1, 2009

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another death, and an accidental shooting

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The two (or three), by the way, are unrelated.

In August, a friend of mine passed unexpectedly.  Last week another friend passed, and it was way overdue.

Frank Winans was an extraordinary man, to say the least.  Quite a while ago he found Mark Wolfe left for dead in a ditch.  The rest, as they say, is history...

Mark was never quite well, after that.  Frank told me he had been clinically dead at least 6 times, and for some reason my intuition tells me it was 9.  There was a certain amount of brain damage, and he had circulatory problems along with a host of other medical issues.  Doctors couldn't explain how Mark remained among the living.

Frank kept him alive.

They were best friends.

In 2005, having known the two of them only online, I met them for the first time in person to go on a weekend trip -- to meet someone else we had only known online.  Even though "Kortron" (rest his soul) turned out to be an aging punk, the trip was, overall, quite enjoyable.  Despite how annoying Mark could be at times, he was very open and loving.  There was something pure about him, and like Frank he possessed psychic abilities.  He could see auras, told me mine was multicoloured, "like a rainbow".

On that trip, for which I did all the driving, I played a cassette from a local Parkersburg musician.  One of the songs was Let Your Dog Out.  On the night Mark passed, one of our mutual friends was awakened by her German Shepherd pup licking her feet.  This puppy had been locked in a kennel as part of her training to become a K9 (police) dog, and could not have gotten out on her own -- and all the Humans in the house had been asleep.  Mark had a K9 school dropout German shepherd, by the way, up until Frank's passing (Frank had moved Mark in to live with him, and when Frank passed Mark was put in a hospital, then moved to another, faraway hospital after Frank's funeral).

This dog (puppy) being let out was not only a message to our mutual friends, but to me.

While I was in college my father passed, and so did my girlfriend's grandfather.  Dad's passing message came to me as a news announcement on an old-time radio in a dream:  "Kenneth Smith, dead at 51..."...  I woke up and took a shower, which my roommate interrupted with an important phone call.  It was my oldest brother, and when he told me the news I said "I know...".  Heather had a watch her grandfather had given her, and it stopped.  When her grandmother pried the crystal off, the watch started running again.  It had stopped because the second hand had somehow been curved upward until it met the crystal.

I have questions.

Mark, an ex-Marine, was left for dead in a ditch.  Why?

Frank, as it happens, had a heart condition he didn't let on about.  The official finding was that his body succombed to a myocardial infarction, and that was the cause of death -- but he also suffered a massive head trauma, and bled out.  Did the heart attack cause him to slip and fall, as we are led to believe, or did the hit come first, and cause the heart attack?  And, was it an accident or a blow from an intruder?

Frank, long ago, was one of the 'Nasty Nine'.  They were a group of hackers who, back in the day, caused a lot of trouble.  Frank was always on the right side of things, so I'm sure any trouble he caused with his hacking was well-intentioned.  Later on he became a paralegal, and helped a lot of people win cases against a corrupt local system.  I'm not pointing any fingers, but I suspect foul play.

With Frank gone, it was only a matter of time before mark was gone too.

Of course they're not really gone.  They've merely shed the 'jackets' of the corporeal beings by which we knew them, and are now flitting about in the spirit world much as they used to, when they would indulge in astral travel -- but now without the burden of having to return to a physical body.

If I miss them it's because I'm not very well tuned-in to their plane of existence.

No, I'm stuck here in the 'real'.

Here in the 'real', on Monday my wife decided to go to a shooting range for the first time -- while I was sleeping.  Text from our local TV station's website:

A woman was taken to an area hospital after being shot in the stomach this afternoon.

It happened at the Mountwood Park shooting range around 3:00.

The Wood County Sheriff's Office believes the shooting was accidental.

Officials say someone was putting a gun into case when it went off.

Officers say the bullet shot through the case and hit a woman in the stomach.

The victim was taken to Camden Clark Memorial Hospital.

Her name and condition have not been released.

Her stomach was not hit.  That would have been bad.  The bullet didn't hit any organs at all -- and today she's back at work, with large Band-Aids over her three little GSWs and a little .22-caliber bullet riding around inside her (it wasn't removed, and she may carry it for the rest of her life).

We don't have any firearms in the house -- the .22 pistol (a rather silly piece, if you ask me) was someone else's.

As an Army veteran I have a certain amount of experience with firearms, but have never fired a handgun and don't (really*) plan to own one.  For that matter I've handled and set off explosives.  Should I keep those in the house?

I believe in the Second Amendment.  It's just my personal choice not to exercise my right to keep and bear arms.  I don't hunt, and if I did I'd have a high-powered crossbow.  Handguns?  No thank you -- unless...

*If I had some extra money and was bored enough, I might like to get a Magnum 500, which is a five-shot revolver that fires .50-caliber rounds.  It's the biggest, meanest, most ridiculous handgun on the planet, and I kind of want one.  Sort of.  Not really.  Never wanted to own a firearm before...

"Violence is the last resort of the incompetent."

      - Isaac Asimov

Phil Smith

December 18, 2008

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quitting cigarettes, but not tobacco

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I've quit before, once for six months, then about three months later, for half that...

Yes, I'm a smoker, and have been for about 17 years (got a late start, at 24).  Nasty habit, but it was a certain time in my life and...  Well, let's not get into how I started (or why I started again, after quitting).

Funny thing about tobacco is that it's not as addictive as we are led to believe -- or even as detrimental to health as you might think.  It's the additives that are the real culprit, on both counts.

What helped me quit in the past was gradually switching over to high-quality cigarillos.  Eventually I was still smoking but not getting the additives, and if I never completely got away from tobacco, at least I wasn't smoking every day.

I simply forgot to smoke, because I had successfully weaned myself away from those addictive chemicals.  My advice to anyone who would like to try such a technique is to never let yourself be around cigarettes when you've been drinking and/or in a foul mood, without a decent supply of better tobacco on hand.

Tobacco can be a habit instead of an addiction.  No, seriously.

It is one of those things that is meant to be enjoyed in moderation.

So, aware as I am of how much I suck down the product of a cigarette industry run amok -- and as much as I may enjoy it -- I'm just about ready to quit again (or switch, if you want to look at it that way).  Why now?

When I drink, I tend to pay very little attention to how much I'm smoking.  A hangover is one thing, but several minutes of hacking up phlegm and as much as an hour of laboured breathing aren't fun at all.  No, I don't enjoy feeling as though I need to be treated for smoke inhalation...

...and that's the thing:  Tobacco smoke really shouldn't be inhaled, at least not very much.

It all started with pipes.  Okay sure, no doubt it took the natives a while before they fashioned pipes to enjoy it in, but it was with pipes that it was introduced to the rest of the world.  Anyway, I think I'm going to get a pipe.  Might even carve one for myself, later on...

As I've been typing of course I've been smoking my Camels, and I haven't started switching over yet.  Maybe the goal should be to be cigarette-free by the time I turn 42 (a couple of days before the inauguration).  Sounds like a plan.

Phil Smith

November 10, 2008

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more Spore silliness

Created a creature I call the Sabre-Toothed Alicorn...

There was nothing to use for a tail that looked natural, so I left it off -- and there wasn't a mouth that looked horsey enough, so I used one with tusks (hence, 'sabre-toothed').  An Alicorn, by the way, is an obscure cross between a Pegasus and a Unicorn.  The story behind my beast, if there has to be one, is that it's a throwback from an earlier stage in Alicorn evolution -- or (more likely) a mutated version, adapted to survive in an 'extreme' environment...

Goofy, but fun to have around.

Had to revise what has become a favourite, in order for it to appear more as intended during gameplay (axle extensions are ignored, for one thing, in the necessarily lower-detail versions you see collecting spice):

It's a cross between The Car (a modified Lincoln Mark IV from the movie, The Car) and a lowriding  pimpmobile -- and that's exactly what I wanted (and the simplistic, boxy body is intentional, as are the Impala-esque taillights).  Spore won't let you save a creation without naming it, and it took a while to decide, but eventually a certain Ludacris song came to mind...

During revision the flamethrower exhausts got moved outward, because they were attached to the same 'chassis' as the wheels.  Had to widen the chassis (and un-extend the axles) because the wheels were showing up inboard, like the thing was fully skirted.  Tweaked it here and there (sorry, no 'before' images) and while I was at it, added the 'Nebulizer' weapon as a hood scoop -- this is also attached to the chassis so that only the upper portion appears above the body.

I may revise it again, adding a narrower element for exhaust mounting, so they can be farther inboard where they were originally placed (and where I think they looked better) or a wider one so they can be half outboard (which I also thought looked good, or bad) -- and I might change the grille.

Other Spore creations of mine will not be shared here, and it is likely that none of them will be shared with the Spore community.

I'm Phil Smith, and I approve this post.

October 24, 2008

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sporadic Spore addict

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Took some screenshots...

Was building a City Hall in the Civilization stage, decided to give it the shape of one thing that is very, very important to civilization.

Discovered the 'Horseshoe Flyer' body when I went to build a land vehicle, and couldn't resist.

Carrying on with the theme, used it for aircraft as well...

...and yes, even for my spaceship.

Later, decided to try my hand at other land vehicles.

Of course during gameplay these are not seen with anywhere near this level of detail, but it's still fun to see them.

Will get bored with it before long...

Phil Smith

October 16, 2008

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Coffee and Sandwiches

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Once upon a time, I attempted to be self-employed.

I got a membership to the Woodworkers' Club at Woodcraft and started to build things that I designed myself. A grand total of 3 furniture projects were completed before I was forced to quit.

Not satisfied with merely designing the look of these projects, I felt compelled to be innovative with joinery. The philosophy was to approach woodworking from a fresh perspective, largely ignoring traditional methods. Each project was successful -- or, would have been...


A complex combination of factors led to my ultimate failure. One of them, I have to admit, is my general lack of a work ethic. I take too long to finish things even when they're projects that I enjoy...

In the end the issue was time. For time spent in the shop, I was supposed to pay a monthly fee. For a while my fees were overlooked, but then someone decided to crack down -- and they wanted back dues. I forget how much it was per month, but over several months it added up to something I could not possibly pay. I could keep up with monthly dues, but that wasn't enough.

It might have been possible to complete those coffee tables before I was forced out. Even when I did manage to find a few hours to spend in the shop, though, there was no guarantee I'd find the space to work in, and often the equipment I needed was being used by someone else.

Another factor was my personal rule of not getting near power tools when I was pissed off. You have no idea -- or maybe you do -- how often a rule like that can impede progress.


Those coffee tables were set to become a pair of impressive pieces, and probably would have led to more consignments. I would still very much like the chance to complete the project, but I have no idea how that could happen. I don't even know whether my materials still exist as I left them.


All I can hope for is to one day be able to pay back the advances I was given, adjusted for inflation. Alternatively, if I had the space to start a woodshop at home, I could try to get my unfinished project back from Woodcraft (or start over) -- but considering how much time and money would be involved, I think the first option would be best.


It gnaws at me from time to time. Don't think I've forgotten.


Will I ever build furniture again? Maybe -- but probably not as a business venture.




Phil Smith
September 10, 2008

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I'm an Asshole?

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I'm an asshole.

Apparently I can be condescending as Hell, and I bitch a lot.

Apparently I can also be funny and insightful, and certain people appreciate my genius, so things balance out...?

'Conceited'. That goes on the list. According to some I'm also pretentious, but no, I don't pretend. I'll admit to lack of knowledge where appropriate -- and that right there, being able to admit you don't know, being willing to learn, is the key to gaining knowledge. If you think you know everything, you cannot learn.

No one can ever know everything. To some it may seem as though I think I know everything, just because I have paid attention to a lot of things over the years, and I'm not afraid to voice my opinion.


'Opinionated'. There's another one. Maybe I do think I know better in a lot of cases, and everyone would be better off if they listened to me. You know what? Maybe I'm right, and everyone needs to fucking listen. In that case I have a few nuggets...

• Don't talk on a cellphone while driving. If it rings, don't answer unless you're on a highway with very little traffic around you (or some similar low-pressure situation) -- and even then, keep it short. If you have hands-free, that's a different story, but you still have to remember that your most important task is DRIVING. Pay ATTENTION.
• Don't get caught up in politics. In the United States of America at least, it's been proven that whomever has been chosen by the elite will win the Presidency. Even the very few we have to choose among have been preselected, and if by some chance the 'wrong' one gets through 'they' can still take measures... 3 letters: JFK.
• Don't fall in love. Now, the last time I was in love I jumped into it... Let me tell you something: Unless the person you're 'in love' with is an actual soulmate, and there's nothing standing in the way of you being happy together forever, you have no chance. Eventually it will end, and your shattered heart will be in pieces on the floor. If you start having feelings for someone, please take a close look. Try to be rational. You may think you're in love, but you may have just not seen the things about the other person that would be dealbreakers. Enjoy the relationship, have fun with the sex, but try not to hang all your hopes on that person. If it works out, great. If it doesn't, at least you have fond memories...
• If you have indeed fallen in (or jumped into) love with someone, despite all the warning signs, take a step back and look at the situation. Will you be able to maintain the relationship? Will you be able to provide everything the other person needs? I jumped into love, and was in bliss while I was with her, but in the end had to place family above all else. It was the most painful decision I ever had to make, but I let her go. I was a complete mess after that, mentally unstable for more months than I care to count. All prior heartbreaks seemed trivial. Please try not to fall, and be very careful when you think you want to jump.
• Eliminate fear. I'm not sure when, but at some point I realized I was not afraid of ANYTHING. You can go ahead and be cautious, and by all means exercise restraint, use your judgment. Just, you know, have no fear. Live right, and you'll have nothing to fear anyway. Things have a way of working themselves out. Exercise trust.
• Forget guilt. Have no remorse. Try to make up for the mistakes you've made, sure, but don't dwell on the past. What's done is done. If you made a mistake, learn from it -- and move on.

I should be writing other things (or maybe I shouldn't be writing anything at all in my present state, after X amount of beers)...



Stay crunchy.



Phil Smith
August 20, 2008

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mercy

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Once upon a time, I met a woman. There was nothing about her I didn't like, and she was pretty far into me as well. At the time I thought I'd be getting a divorce soon...


...but it didn't happen. It was possibly the hardest decision I've ever made, choosing to stick with my family above all else.

Duffy - Mercy (Dunproofin's Thankful Mix)

Challenges are presented to us. This was a big one. I wanted to be with her forever, but I didn't want to be away from my children. Never mind the wife, I mean seriously. She's a train wreck, and I was ready to call the wedding off and never see her again -- but she was pregnant, so I manned up.

Don't get me wrong -- I do love my wife. She's family. I have to. Loved her enough, apparently, to grow our family to a total of 5...

...but we were going through an 'in-house separation' when I met the woman in question.

Duffy - Syrup & Honey

It was a beautiful love affair, from my perspective. In retrospect, it had to have been incredibly wrenching for her. Eventually I had to let her go, as painful as it was for me -- and I stayed in love with her for at least a year afterward.

Life sucks. And, it bites.

Am I over it? Yes and no. I managed to convince myself, over time, that I never REALLY knew her. She kept enough of herself private, probably in self-defense...

We'd both been hurt by love before, had both sworn we'd never fall in love again -- but the night we met, we held hands and jumped. And, it was bliss -- while it lasted.

Somehow Duffy gets close to expressing what it was like. Enjoy the videos.



Phil Smith
July 15, 2008

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What's Going On?

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I've been feeling like I need to post something on the Nation of Earth blog, and something else over at Tellurian Motors... Really, I suppose, I've had the itch to write and am not quite ready to jump back into my novel.

I can feel it coming though, as the story keeps taking form in my head. It being set in the near future, of course I'm going to have to get serious about writing this novel very soon...

##

On the Nation of Earth blog I was going to write something about an intentional community -- or 'tribe', if you will, within the 'nation' -- but then got conflicted over where the post should appear. While the subject of a 'colony' that I would like to establish certainly falls within the subject matter of the Nation of Earth blog, the post I've been working up to probably fits better here at Phil's Mythos...

So anyway as a sort of update, I guess I'll tell you what I've been thinking (or daydreaming) about the place, and put off writing a full post until later...

While I still look at mountaintop removal sites as being nearly ideal, there is some concern about what the mining activity has done to the water table. A good source of clean water is an absolute must, and I'd rather not have to go to extreme measures for it...

There is a company in California that produces premanufactured homes that are about as 'green' as you can get, so as a measure of expedience I'd like to commission one to be sent to the site, shortly after the site is established. If you watch television at all, you may have seen commercials for steel Quonset-style buildings. I'd like to get a few of those as well -- and so right away you see that architectural planning has gone out the window.

The thing to do would be to make every effort to survey and plan for the future use of the grounds...

[break*]

...from the beginning, even without time for full architectural planning. My dream 'lodge' can be added later, but certainly not before the greenhouses go in.


Look for a new Nation of Earth post soon...


[*had to stop yesterday]


I'm the only one in our family of five who drives, for now, so I was pulled away from this blog to play chauffeur. Had to wait in the car for almost an hour...

Started thinking about my first flat-panel design, the Brubeck, and how it might be updated. Happened to have a pencil and a couple of blank, unlined 3X5 cards in the car, so... I did a few quick (and small) sketches.

The Brubeck was originally intended to be powered by a pair of largish bike engines (finally settled on Kawasaki ZX14s) fuelled by propane, as a sort of farewell celebration of internal combustion. Now, all the concepts for Tellurian Motors are electric -- and if there's going to be an electric Brubeck, I thought, it should benefit from the packaging advantages inherent to electric vehicles.




Meet the Brubeck 2.

The original is front-engined, and its proportions are reflected in that. The redux can have its electric motor mounted between the rear wheels, and its ultracapacitors can be tucked away in various places throughout the chassis. With electric vehicles, the packaging constraints designers have always had to deal with in order to fit in an engine and fuel tank are gone. What freedom!

The Brubeck 2 retains a long nose and short deck, but the base of the windshield can be brought farther forward, without having to worry about engine access.


What I had wanted to write about before, concerning Tellurian Motors, was the future availability of ultracapacitors (which can be fully charged in five minutes, and will eventually replace batteries in countless applications). I've learned that Zenn has acquired exclusive rights to purchase EEStor's ultracapacitors for a very wide range of civilian applications, including conversions and production vehicles.

This means that until someone else starts producing this key component, anyone who wants ultracapacitors for their vehicles will have to go through Zenn. Shrewd move on their part, but now they'll be even more difficult to acquire than I imagined.



Speaking of imagining, of course without a ton of money I'll never be able to establish a planned community, or build a line of electric vehicles there. No, for now I'll have to be satisfied with daydreaming and writing about them.

However there's no reason I can't incorporate these fantasies into my novel -- and so all the mental effort I put toward them will not be entirely in vain.


Meanwhile I continue to carve 'utensil art', and have been taking photos of my current work-in-progress...




Phil Smith
June 24 & 25, 2008

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