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Once upon a time, I met a woman. There was nothing about her I didn't like, and she was pretty far into me as well. At the time I thought I'd be getting a divorce soon...
...but it didn't happen. It was possibly the hardest decision I've ever made, choosing to stick with my family above all else.
Challenges are presented to us. This was a big one. I wanted to be with her forever, but I didn't want to be away from my children. Never mind the wife, I mean seriously. She's a train wreck, and I was ready to call the wedding off and never see her again -- but she was pregnant, so I manned up.
Don't get me wrong -- I do love my wife. She's family. I have to. Loved her enough, apparently, to grow our family to a total of 5...
...but we were going through an 'in-house separation' when I met the woman in question.
It was a beautiful love affair, from my perspective. In retrospect, it had to have been incredibly wrenching for her. Eventually I had to let her go, as painful as it was for me -- and I stayed in love with her for at least a year afterward.
Life sucks. And, it bites.
Am I over it? Yes and no. I managed to convince myself, over time, that I never REALLY knew her. She kept enough of herself private, probably in self-defense...
We'd both been hurt by love before, had both sworn we'd never fall in love again -- but the night we met, we held hands and jumped. And, it was bliss -- while it lasted.
Somehow Duffy gets close to expressing what it was like. Enjoy the videos.
Phil Smith
July 15, 2008
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